The Zombles

To celebrate the start of new zombie drama The Walking Dead (and mourn the passing of the nearly homophonic Waking the Dead – couldn’t there be a crossover in which Shouty Boyd exercises zombie dogs called Walking the Dead?), here is an undead Womble tribute piece. Many thanks to Polly Clark and Helen Ivory for contributions which, in the spirit of true collabyrinthitis, I completely ignored.

For those who wish to sing along or rather over the original, here it be

The Zombles

In the grave out the grave Zombling free
the Zombles of Highgate’s old Cemetary
making good use of the guts that we find
entrails you like to keep on your insides…

Uncle Belgravia!
He can’t remember his name but he still likes to dine on young minds
with his can-opener…
Pick up the pieces
and take them to A&E

Zombles are organised, work as a team.
Zombles are tidy and Zombles are clean.
Underworld, overworld, zombling free,
the Zombles of Highgate’s old Cemetary.

When people notice us they tend to scream
Eating their nose is like Zomble ice-cream
We Zomble by day and we Zomble by night
Mopping up brains so we don’t look a fright.

We’re so pernickety anally scrupulous
Eating the last bits of everyone
even bottoms and tongues
Lick out the viscera, pick up the fragments of head –
We’re the clean-living dead!

In the grave out the grave Zombling free
the Zombles of Highgate’s old Cemetary
making good use of the guts that we find
entrails you’d like to keep on your insides…

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About Bill Herbert

Poet and pseudo-scholar W.N. Herbert was born in Dundee in 1961, educated there and at Oxford, where he completed his DPhil thesis on Scottish poet Hugh MacDiarmid, and now lives and works in Newcastle. He is Professor of Poetry and Creative Writing at Newcastle University, and his books are published by, among others, northern publisher Bloodaxe Books. He is also the Dundee Makar, or city laureate.
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